My wife gave me that advice this morning.
I was sitting in front of my computer. Filled with a familiar anxiety that I've become somewhat accustomed to now, usually whenever there's something "important" I feel like I need to say, and yet don't know where to begin.
"There's everything to talk about, but at this moment, what is there really to say? I don't even know who I'm speaking to, or what I'm even getting at right now...What's the point?"
"Do what you love, and love what you do." It was such a simple answer. Written on the back of her t-shirt. She smiled at me and gave me a kiss, "You'll figure it out." She was on her way to work, and I was doing my classic Filibuster technique: A domestic habit that typically puts her about 5-10 minutes late to wherever she's going. Customarily, it'll begin in the bedroom, move to the bathroom and then end in the kitchen, badgering her with an intense line of questioning about my life's purpose, right until the moment before she leaves the door, and I'm inevitably forced to answer all of these questions on my own.
Do What You Love, Love What You Do. That's what this about isn't it. My art. My self-expression. My voice; It's about my joyfulness. Doing what I love, and loving what I Do. "I think that's it," I said. What an obvious remedy to such a seemingly complex slew of self-questioning.
I doubt myself to often. I doubt my love too often, as well. Who I am. Why I am here. It's so clear to me in spirit, and yet so timid to my own heart. The words I use. The things I put myself through. Ridiculousness.
My love is inevitable; and clearly unquenchable at this point. After 4 years of working on this album, you'd think that I'd had enough by now. I've found myself filibustered. There's always one more question to answer. One more choice to make.
I love my voice. I love the words that I've been given. I love the will of God. I love the painting of Life that his placed us in. But especially love adding my own colors to that painting. To build, to create; to generate. I believe I love to generate.
